Live in the now
04 February 2002 - 1:47 p.m.

On my mind....

The fact that J and I had a fabulous weekend as always, even if he did kick my butt in Monopoly.

The fact I won $12 at our superbowl party.

The fact that I was mentioned in a number of diaries over the weekend. How exciting! Thanks Catherine and Shannon (in her blog is my Rachel quote)!

The fact that it snowed for awhile today.

The fact that tomorrow is a deadline meaning I have a shortened day.

The fact that KU is making it more difficult for Duke to remain in the number 1 spot on the poll.

The fact that Illinois keeps loosing.

Reading this list in Sadmonkey's diary and remembering how much fun Kerry and I had writing our lists. I don't remember much from my original list, but I do remember something about not wanting to be with someone who referred to hot dogs as weiners. That word bothers me so much.

***

I like to read other people's diaries/journals as if they are books. When I find a writer I enjoy, I go to the very beginning of his or her journal and read about happenings in his or her life.

Lately, I have been reading Sadmonkey. I found him on the I Love Chicago diaryring.

His diary begins when he and his former fiancee break off the engagement. I have gotten to month 5 I believe (August). It makes me sad to know that people can be so in love and feel so right, yet still have the relationship fail.

I know that it happens often, but I guess it is more pertanent to me now that I'm with J.

I love him with all my heart, and I know we are great together, but I still get so scared about what the future holds for us.

Hearing about others breaking up makes it that much scarier. I want to believe that things will work out for us, but I just keep thinking in my head, what if they don't?

I guess I still haven't gotten over my hurt from the past enough to know that things can work out. I am trying so hard not to let these negative thoughts affect our relationship, but at the same time, I don't want to be naive in ignoring any problems that may arise.

Just knowing what I do from the past almost 6 months that J and I have been together, I know that if there is a problem, it will be talked about. That's just the way we both operate, and that gives me much relief.

I guess I just need to focus on what we have now and enjoy every second of it, bc who knows what the future may bring.

last five:
*09 September 2004*
Busy Bee
*05 August 2004*
Party Girls
*29 July 2004*
Housing Issues
*22 July 2004*
Something Strange is Afoot at the Circle K
*23 April 2004*
Three Questions Revisited